patrick stewart vs. chuck norris

mom and i have been contemplating the immortality of patrick stewart. between us and chris, we've got some fantastic theories. anybody else?

mom said...
I too believe that Patrick Stewart is immortal - - I've seen him on several movies as well as Dune, and he does seem to be . . . well, EXACTLY the same. What other explanation could there be?

the bantam menace said...
chris is suggesting the existence of another trinity: "made up of patrick stewart, jesus and chuck norris. patrick stewart wanted revenge on his enemies and so partook of the sacrament and received a roundhouse kick from chuck norris thus bestowing upon him the gift of immortality. the only drawback, he could never again have hair follicles (a small price to pay for the smiting of one's enemies)."

mom said...
Being not a true believer in Chuck Norris, I have another theory. Patrick Stuart discovered a black hole that connected the future and the past on one of his Star Trek journeys, and uses it to further his career. That is actually how he avoids contact with Chuck Norris. Comments?


hmmm...
perhaps it was his encounter with the borg that gave him unknown abilities to freeze time and to actually de-age. the borg would also distract chuck norris so that patrick stewart could escape (by freezing time, or maybe he did find a black hole). unfortunately for the borg, when they tell chuck norris that "resistance is futile," he just roundhouse kicks them and says "resist this."