XXXII

friends, the last three weeks of my life have been relentless. my work assignments and schedule have been surfing the busiest wave i've ever encountered since i started this job four years ago. it's fantastic for my paysheet, but grinding on my soul... time feels like a claustrophobic prison that i am despairing to escape from. to regroup. to be still. to breathe deep. to simply tread in the present moment.



yet as i endure, i am breathtakingly aware that god -- in and amongst my frantic typing sessions, day-long depositions, and the panic of personal deadlines -- saw fit to insert shiny, unexpected and surprising moments saturated with laughter, friendship and love.

just when -- and how -- i needed it most.



at the same time that the work vice was tightening with its greatest intensity, i have also been barraged by the greatest outpouring of love. i am taken aback by the words you have spoken; they have calmed the self-doubt roiling in my mind and gut, and lightened me. i am lucky to have these connections with you that, if we think back to their origins, are awfully coincidental. and yet amazingly perfect in how they have unraveled to today.



such is the way of god. the way of love. the way of faith. the way of community. i have experienced it and i know it is real, even in these relatively compact experiences.

friends, you help me see the best parts of me. and i sincerely trust you. thus you help me to love myself better. that's a pretty swell gift, one that is often difficult to receive.

happy birthday to me.